Our brain is wired for negativity, this is called the negativity bias. It feeds us thousands of thoughts per day, most of them negative.
I've heard it explained as a toddler with a marker running through my home drawing on everything, it's out of control and feels crazy, until I take control and take the marker away and settle it down.
I can take control and settle my brain down in a number of ways....the best is to write things down.
The first coaching tool that I use with all of my clients, is called a Brain Dump. It’s such an effective way of gaining awareness about what we’re thinking and how it’s affecting us.
I’ll teach it to you in 3 simple steps.
1) Write out all of your thoughts on paper.
The key to this is “no judgement”. And no editing. Don’t look through those thoughts, as you’re writing them down, and think: I shouldn’t think that or that’s a stupid thought.
Just allow the thoughts to flow out of you.
2) Sort out the thoughts from the facts.
This step seems small, but it’s actually huge. What is a fact? It’s something everyone can agree upon. Something that can be proven in a court of law. Weather, what other people say and do, are facts. Thoughts are everything else. They are literally just words in our mind. Sentences that run through our mind.
Circle the thoughts, underline the facts.
Go through each thought and ask yourself some powerful questions: How does this feel? Is this really true? Is it useful? Is it going to help me show up as the person I want to be? Is there another way to tell this story?
Try this exercise and see if it helps you. It's neve about THEM...it's always about YOU and what you are making things mean.