I'm just sick about myself
I wasn't a very good baby mom. I did it but I didn't love it. When my babies finally reached 18 months and could walk and talk a little and say the cutest things, I was all in.
I LOVE the 1 to 3 year old toddler stage.
I know that makes some of you shake your head, but I really do. I love my grands now in their darling toddler stages. They are wide-eyed interested and learning so much--and they need their naps and I need a nap-- and they are so hard to get to bed even though they are so tired--and so dangerous with markers, forks, crayons and dog food--and want to do everything "by myself."
So much crazy and I just love it all.
When my Landon was three he was having a fit in our church meetings. I told him he needed to behave or I was going to take him out and go sit in the hall. He didn't stop. As I was carrying him out, he called tearily over my shoulder to all the people in the chapel, "I know. I'm just sick about myself."
Toddlers don't have any kind of filter-- they get a thought and say it; pick up a knife and sometimes dangerously run with it; see dog food and eat it; have tantrums on the floor of a busy grocery store.
We don't agree with all of the things a toddler says or does. We have to navigate and manage their world for them. We need to keep track of them and help them. And we continue to love on them.
Our brains are like toddlers. Our toddler brain tells us "I'm not good enough, nobody likes me, just eat instead of feeling feelings, this is too hard- let's quit, give in to all urges, instant gratification is best!" Once we realize this, we can rein in all of the unsupervised thoughts our lower brain offers up. We can give it direction, give it a thought to think that serves us better, move toward delayed gratification and do this with curiosity and compassion; with observation and awareness.
When we realize that we don't have to believe, or agree with our thoughts, that our thoughts are all optional and just suggestions, we can be set free and be rid of the "sick about ourselves" toddler brain thoughts once and for all.