Love the way people want to be loved
Laila loves her dog Jet…but it seems at times that he doesn’t love her back. He doesn’t want to cuddle or sit on her lap, or even hold still while she pets him. In fact, when she goes to pet him he puts his head on the ground and his butt in the air. It’s a crazy awkward position.
Laila gets frustrated with this. I told her she just needs to love him the way he wants to be loved. That’s what I do with her. My relationship with Laila only got better when I chose to love her the way she wants to be loved. I had this idealized mother-daughter relationship that looked like her telling me EVERYTHING, watching romantic comedies or historical dramas as we snuggled on the couch munching popcorn; hanging out together; eating at a salad place for lunch and baking goodies at least once a week, plus hugs on demand. She doesn’t like doing any of this. A scary movie, Anime, getting chik-fil-a, playing video games, and being alone in her bedroom is her style. Along with the occasional hug and “I love you.” I could get totally bugged by this and feel like we just don’t have a good relationship but I’ve decided instead that we have a fabulous one. Once I realized I could just love her and know that she loves me without any of these trappings, things only got better. Laila doesn’t have to do or be anything different and I can just love her.