Yesterday I experienced many grief bombs.
You know how you finally reach a point where you’re not crying as much as you once were? You find that you’re thinking less about your loss, and things are otherwise "fine," and then… boom, you get hit by a grief bomb, and suddenly you don’t feel fine anymore?
Yeah, that was me.
I drove past my sister’s house, which I do every day, and bam… a grief bomb went off. I cried. I had to pull my car over it got so bad.
I heard “We need a little Christmas” on the radio, one of my mom’s favorite Christmas songs and boom… a grief bomb exploded in me.
I saw my Grandma’s china in my cupboard and blast it all, another bomb.
These lovely women have been in heaven for over 6 years. But yesterday, I was suddenly caught off guard and instantly felt a hit of grief in my body. It felt all-consuming and definitely unpleasant.
Grief bombs show up when we least expect them.
Here are three things that help me to get through these times:
1. Put your hands over your heart, take three long deep breaths. Get grounded, get back in your body. Calm your nervous system.
2. Drop your resistance to what’s happening, even though it feels really weird, say yes to what’s happening. Let the tears fall. Allow it. Give it permission to be in your body. Drop the resistance.
3. Love yourself through this part of your life experience. If we aren’t loving ourselves through a grief bomb, then typically what we do is we take whatever the pain is and we pile more pain on top of it. Thoughts like, “This is ridiculous, Why am I crying?” only add more suffering to the pain. You are having pain because you had such great love. If you didn’t love so big, you wouldn’t hurt so much. Have compassion for yourself around this.
Christmas time is beautiful and hard for me since my parents, sister and grandparents have all passed away.
Christmas time is beautiful and hard for me since my kids are adults now and are off doing their own thing.
I never know when a grief bomb is going to happen. I want to recognize this, breathe, allow, and just have compassion and curiosity around all of it.