I tended two of my grandchildren last week while their parents were in California. It was a “fun-filled” three days. My Laila asked me if I missed my younger years when I was in the trenches of motherhood with four children under 6? (Basically the 1990’s)
I responded with an enthusiastic, “ NO.”
I loved having my grands here for a bit and playing the mom 24/7 and I’m grateful to have experienced those little kid years and to be on the other side of it. BUT, I did tell Laila the one thing I wish I could go back and re-do and that’s my negative self-talk during that time.
I was never a good enough mom. I would tell myself I was a bad mom All. The. Time. That a good mom would want to play with her kids and have a clean house, and dinner on the table, and not yell. That a good mom would never let the television be a babysitter or feel like she needed to run away.
Deciding and saying to yourself over and over again that you are a “bad mom” doesn’t serve you.
When you are critical of yourself you are also much more critical of your children and everyone else.
Your thoughts are your results. Think “bad mom”- Result “bad mom.”
It keeps you stuck.
It’s like punching yourself in the face over and over again wondering why you feel so wounded when you just need to stop your hand.
You just need to change your mind.
What makes a good mom?
You just decide you’re a good mom.
It’s just a thought.
A good mom just needs to love her kids and love herself.
By declaring you’re a good mom you are more likely to show up in that way, and feel better about what’s going on with your parenting.
A good mom snaps at her kids at times. A good mom doesn’t want to be around her kids sometimes. A good mom doesn’t want to watch the same show over and over and over, or get dressed or make dinner, or clean up all of the time. A good mom loves her kids and loves herself!
Here’s the deal….
Learning your lessons as a human is what’s important.
This life is called Earth School. (Eckhart Tolle) It’s where we learn and grow.
Being a mom is for me and my growth.
My kids are too important for me to screw them up.
If I help them along the way fantastic, if not someone else will, or they will figure it out on their own.
My kids are going to learn the lessons they are meant to learn however I mother. I believe this.
I am a good mom! I’m also an amazing grandma!
Change your thoughts. Change your world.