I get it.
Your child came out of the closet and it’s turned your life upside down. There are ways to get back what you think you’ve lost and move from slogging through life to loving your life again.
I know what I’m talking about, I have three of my children that are LGBTQ+ and a sister, and several other family members.
Your world might feel upside down for a bit.
Here are three things to work on to get you started.
1. What is the title of your story?
What’s happening in your mind?
The only reason you are feeling bad/mad/sad is because of what’s happening in your Brain. Knowing this gives you back all your power without having to change other people or your circumstances. This is all about awareness. There’s no blame or guilt. Just be open and curious about yourself and all those involved.
A. Do a thought download-- get it all out on paper. This gets your thoughts to hold still. Put good and bad thoughts down and get it all out of your brain and onto paper.
B. Then look at thoughts and ask self-- “Ok- what is the title of this story?” One sentence. Sum it up. Do you like that title? Do you need to start telling a different story? What would you like your title to be?
2. What do you really want?
To go back to the way it was?
To have a straight child?
For your child to change?
The only thing any of us really wants is to feel good and avoid feeling bad.
Humans do everything we do because of a FEELING we want to feel.
Magic wand scenario:
If you had a magic wand and could make your LGBTQ+ child behave how you wanted them to - then - how would that make you feel? How would you show up?
You can feel this way now without your child changing anything. This is available to you.
What you want is to feel a certain way and that comes from thinking certain thoughts.
3. Stop trying to control other people
Other people get to behave however they want to.
When you try to change others it punishes you. They don't change and you are still frustrated and annoyed.
You can want what you want, just don’t tie your emotions to it.
What do you want?
You can want your child to follow certain rules, or behave a certain way
You don’t need it to happen for you to love them.
When you NEED stuff from others you come across creepy and needy.
You can WANT it but you don’t NEED it for you to feel good; for you to be peaceful and happy.
Shift your focus to what you can control -- which is only YOU
Remember, you can believe whatever you want.
Commit to love
Give up the need to be right
Take 100% responsibility for a great relationship.
If any of these thoughts feel new to you or you want to talk about any of this please contact me.
People are placed in our lives to help us become the next best version of ourselves.